Adventure Time With Laura And Eggplants

           I've always thought that food in cartoons looked more delicious than their real-life counterparts. Whether it was Mister Krab's krabby patties or rice balls from Pokemon, foods from my childhood have always been on my list to try. That's why on the way to the farmer's market at TLU I was hit with the urge to buy eggplants.

From tube.7s-b.com

          When I was younger there was a tv show called "Courage the Cowardly Dog" in which a pink dog had to save his owners from terror. In a specific episode Courage's owner makes some eggplants angry by eating them too much. In the show the eggplants were very round and bulbous so as a child I wondered whether they would taste like eggs, or since they resembled fruit so much would they taste like over sized grapes. The memory of this show is what led me in my search.                
          When I arrived I saw three stands with assorted items from jewelry to meat and in the middle of a sea of tomatoes and peppers was a small basket with five slender eggplants for two dollars. I jumped at the offer and rubbed my fingers along their smooth lavender skin. They were skinnier than I imagined but there green leafy hats smelled fresh and they were brilliant shades of purple that seemed to come right off an artist's easel. When I asked the grower how to prepare them she said to fry them but I learned on the Internet that eggplants can also be cooked since they are vital to the dish known as ratatouille. I quickly rushed home so my grandmother could help me fry 'em up.

Photo by Infrogmation of New Orleans
(These resemble what my eggplants looked like.
I would've taken my own picture but my camera battery is missing.)

          Eggplants are a favorite of my grandmother's since according to her, "They taste so much like squash." We first cut the eggplant into four slices easily with a knife. The inside was a very pale white and had seeds that resembled small ants in a line.  I dipped them into a batter of eggs and flour to be fried and as they dripped, I threw the pieces into a pan and watched them sizzle.  They become lost in a wave of golden grease but the thick scent that came from these small slices smelled surprisingly fishy and spread the delicious aroma around the house.

           As I sat down to eat, all I could do was stare. These fragments didn't resemble vegetables anymore and had the appearance of stretched onion rings. My mother and aunt watched me pick at them the same way an audience would watch Fear Factor. I cut a tiny strip away and smelled it. Nothing. Were these the same plant I had just had an hour before? 

          With one hard bite, I felt the thickness of the eggplant's skin. It was sleek and chewy. I crunched on the piece to let the juices squirt and I tasted bitterness. The eggplant's were like chalk and filled my mouth with a very bland taste. I tried another bit and gagged. The taste was too strong for me and I couldn't eat anymore. I ate some crackers to get the taste of the eggplant out of my mouth.

          I sat there disappointed. Defeated. Disgusted. If I had picked any other vegetable, I would've still been able to think highly of the eggplant. Still, I had tried at least one of the foods off of my childhood bucket list and although I will never buy an eggplant ever again, I look forward to crossing off more items alongside a pint of Butterbeer straight from the wizarding world.